Do you know that one of the major sources of conflict for couples is money? The best way to avoid that is to talk about it. When couples communicate openly about finances, they build a stronger foundation for their relationship and their future together.
Start With Your Money Habits
First, start off with talking about your habits. What are your spending habits? What are your saving habits? How do you deal with unforeseen expenses? Do you have the habit of setting money aside from each paycheck? Do you have an emergency fund to cover the unexpected?
Some people will be very disciplined and will put money aside for all of these types of expenses and for saving. Others will just spend as they go along, relying on credit when unexpected events occur. Having an open and frank discussion about it at the outset is the best way to avoid any disagreements in the future.
Understanding each partner's approach to money helps you find common ground and develop strategies that work for both of you. The Financial Consumer Agency of Canada offers helpful resources on different ways couples can manage their money together.
Be Transparent About Your Debts
Next, talk about your debts. What types of debts you have, how much you owe. That will have a direct impact on your financial capacity in anyone. And when you talk about your own financial capacity, it has a direct impact on your partner's financial capacity and in the couple's financial capacity. So those are important issues to discuss.
Debt transparency isn't about judgment; it's about understanding your complete financial picture as a couple. Whether it's student loans, credit cards, or other obligations, knowing what you're working with together allows you to make informed decisions and create realistic plans.
Set Common Goals Together
Set common goals. Do you plan on buying a home? Do you want to have kids? When do you plan to retire?
To set these goals ahead of time will help you plan for them ahead of time and you'll be able to discuss on how you want to attain these goals. When you align your financial goals, you create a shared vision for your future. This makes it easier to prioritize spending, saving, and investing decisions together.
The Canadian Investment Regulatory Organization provides a nice checklist specifically designed to help couples plan their finances and investments together.
Create a Budget That Works for Both of You
Have you ever done a budget either for yourself or for your family? That is very, very important and probably a little more difficult aspect to deal with as a couple. Together you’ll be doing a budget for yourself, doing one for your partner, and having one for all the common expenses.
Also, you'll want to discuss how you want to pay for these common expenses. Do you go on a one-to-one basis, like each give 50%, or will you rather choose a pro rata basis based on each income? So those are very, very important issues to be discussed.
There's no single "right" way to manage money as a couple. Some couples pool everything, others keep separate accounts with a joint account for shared expenses, and some maintain completely separate finances.
These decisions will have a direct impact on your common goals and how you'll live together. For example, if one partner earns a much higher salary, will one be able to afford travel and leisure activities while the other simply cannot keep up? These lifestyle imbalances deserve to be discussed upfront to ensure both partners feel valued and included in the life you're building together.
Money Conversations Are About Your Future
Whenever you talk about your money as a couple, you talk about your future, and that is the best way to avoid conflict. Regular, honest conversations about finances strengthen your relationship and help you work together toward the life you both want to build.
Remember, discussing finances for couples doesn't have to be stressful or lead to arguments. When approached with openness, respect, and a willingness to find solutions together, these conversations become an opportunity to deepen your partnership and create a secure financial foundation.
Need Financial Guidance?
If you need any more details or if you have any questions, talk to a Licensed Insolvency Trustee. An LIT will be pleased to answer any questions that you may have and always without judgment.